WHY SHOULD I FEEL DISCOURAGED...

...and why should the shadows come?

Heartbreak is the feeling wrecking havoc through my emotions today. I don’t usually do woebegone, but I’m just finding it very hard to fight the good fight right about now.

I feel like I take ten steps forward and a million steps back. Every thing I do is so ineffectual – and I’m a bit lost in the trees I can’t see, for the forest I know is there.

I try to work hard, but have nothing to show for it.
I exercise, but the weight piles on.
I engage, but substance is lacking.
I smile, but tears are almost always on the brink.

I say something has got to give…but what, who, where and when?

Do I give up and accept that perhaps “there is nothing special about me”…I’m not even “a little star”? Do I 'real up' and acknowledge I haven’t been chosen to claim the ‘ungetable get’ as my own?

My life is what’s going to happen to my dream deferred, so I shouldn’t be afraid of it. I won’t dry up like a raisin in the sun. Maybe just sag like a heavy load – so heavy.

It’s this thought that saddens me beyond explication, because all I want to do right now is…explode!

I think of the places I haven’t yet been, the people I haven’t yet meet, the love I haven’t yet felt, the songs I haven’t yet sung, and I just realize I’m just going to have to work extra hard to keep those shadows at bay - if I don’t, they’ll consume me.

Music is my portion, and what a constant friend it is.
I sing to make me happy.
I sing to make me free.
It’s then I know His eye is on me.
And I know he’s watching over me!

And if there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that I’ll never let myself live a mediocre life –

which leaves only extraordinary for me!